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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Tu, Th 19:05, We, Fr 19:00
· Rerun Mo-Su
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2003
- CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S8:E1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom; Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.
S8:E2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes."
S8:E3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
S4:E20
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Alan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.
S8:E4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.
S4:E21
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Everyone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.
S8:E5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
S4:E22
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
When Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.
S4:E23
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Charlie hires a handyman to fix his deck, then begins to feel threatened when all the women in his life flock to the new guy.
S4:E24
Prostitutes and Gelato
In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.
S8:E6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.
S8:E7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker Rose is too much to handle.
S8:E8
Springtime on a Stick
Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate, and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
S5:E1
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.
S8:E9
A Good Time in Central Africa
While Berta is away for the weekend, Charlie finds the perfect replacement housekeeper; when Lyndsey starts dating Alan again, her ex starts stalking him.
S5:E2
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
S8:E10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
S5:E3
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.
S1:E1
After 12 years of marriage, Alan's wife Judith, kicks him out and he turns to his older brother Charlie for help. Charlie has trouble altering his carefree lifestyle to accommodate the presence of his 10-year-old nephew Jake.
S5:E4
City of Great Racks
Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?
S5:E5
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.
S1:E2
Big Flappy Bastards
Alan punishes Jake for an incident at Judith's house. Charlie is lax in enforcing Alan's restrictions, and when some seagulls invade Charlie's house as a result of Jake's actions, Charlie must learn how to discipline his nephew.
S8:E11
Dead from the Waist Down
Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.
S8:E12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and visits his psychiatrist.
S1:E3
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Charlie and Alan go out drinking. Alan tries to reconcile with his wife. After that fails, they decide to confront the root of their issues, their mother.
S5:E6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.
S1:E4
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
As Charlie tries to write a new jingle, Berta quits, and Alan, leaving Charlie to get Jake ready for a dinner, tries to convince her to come back; Rose tries to get Charlie's help to prepare for a date.
S5:E7
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.
S8:E13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.
S8:E14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.
S1:E5
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Jake's soccer games lead to Alan and Charlie having encounters with teammates' sexy mothers.
S5:E8
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.
S1:E6
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Charlie and Evelyn date members of the same family.
S5:E9
Tight's Good
Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.
S8:E15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.
S8:E16
That Darn Priest
Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."
S5:E10
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.
S1:E7
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on the firm bottom of a surfer-chick friend of Charlie's and draws a picture of it for school. Of course, this enrages Judith until she becomes very good friends with the woman herself.
S5:E11
Meander to Your Dander
Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.
S1:E8
Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
After being tricked into helping Alan and Judith produce Jake's class musical, Charlie is flattered to find out that the kids know all the words to his jingles. Alan is blindsided with divorce papers from Judith, causing strife which results in Charlie, who refuses to deal with the pre-pubers without a snootful, having to produce the play on his own. Jake is crushed when he realizes that a reconciliation between his parents might never happen.
S9:E1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
S9:E2
People Who Love Peepholes
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
S1:E9
Phase One, Complete
Charlie wants to dump a female friend to whom Jake has grown attached. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.
S5:E12
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?
S1:E10
Merry Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving winds up being the least thankful day of the year for Charlie, who has to bribe various members of his household to even come to a traditional turkey dinner. Not only are the usual feuds in evidence (leading to a turkey-carving right out of "Psycho") but Judith's parents are actually sympathetic to Alan and hostile to their own daughter for her "fling" with lesbianism.
S5:E13
The Soil is Moist
Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.
S9:E3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.
S9:E4
Nine Magic Fingers
Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.
S5:E14
Winky-Dink Time
Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute and accompanies Jake on a double date.
S1:E11
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Seeing Judith's new look and boyfriend prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he will need to change his look also.
S5:E15
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.
S1:E12
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Berta brings her 16-year-old granddaughter to work, which poses issues for the men.
S9:E5
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.
S9:E6
The Squat and the Hover
Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.
S5:E16
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.
S1:E13
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.
S1:E14
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.
S5:E17
Fish in a Drawer
Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.
S9:E7
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
S9:E8
Thank You for the Intercourse
Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.
S1:E15
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie--against Alan's advice.
S5:E18
If My Hole Could Talk
Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than he is, has a 32-year-old son and treats Charlie more like a son than a boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend but keeps losing the book before he can read it.
S5:E19
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend and Charlie discovers that he "dated" his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.
S1:E16
That Was Saliva, Alan
Frankie and Joanie move in with Alan and Charlie. Frankie finally tells Alan and Charlie why she's in trouble. Charlie and Alan compete for Frankie's affections. Sparks fly.
S9:E9
Frodo's Headshots
Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.
S9:E10
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
S6:E1
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him, and he starts to suspect that he is the boy's father.
S1:E17
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Charlie is offended when Alan chooses their married, responsible cousins as Jake's guardians.
S1:E18
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Charlie's old flame Jill visits and has really changed: she had an operation and is now called "Bill." Before Charlie can adapt, Evelyn meets and starts dating Bill.
S6:E2
Pie Hole, Herb
Charlie kicks Alan out of the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.
S9:E11
What a Lovely Landing Strip
Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.
S9:E12
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a brother from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
S1:E19
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Judith's sister Liz visits for Jake's birthday.
S6:E3
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Alan tries to date two women at once; Charlie tries to learn how to cook; Jake tells Alan that he's studying with a friend, but gets drunk instead.
S6:E4
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Alan is angry when Charlie hooks up with his secretary because he knows that the situation will end badly for him after their inevitable breakup.
S1:E20
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Jake plays electric guitar all day long and doesn't want to do anything else. Alan and Charlie can't figure out why. Jake refuses to discuss anything with anyone, including his grandmother and even a psychologist.
S9:E13
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
When Bridget and Walden's mother try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?
S9:E14
A Possum on Chemo
While Zoe pressures Walden into shaving and cutting his hair, Alan discovers that Lyndsey is dating a younger man.
S1:E21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie tries to seduce Alan's divorce lawyer Laura, and her assistant. He sleeps with Laura and they decide not to tell Alan anything since it's unethical, considering that Charlie is a participant in the case.
S6:E5
A Jock Strap in Hell
Charlie gets more than he bargained for when he tries to make amends to one of Jake's old teachers that he dated, who went off the deep end and became a stripper after he broke up with her.
S1:E22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Charlie notices that Alan sleepwalks and tries to find out what's causing it and how to deal with it. He asks for help from their mother Evelyn and Jake's psychologist, Dr. Linda Freeman.
S6:E6
It's Always Nazi Week
Alan is overjoyed when he learns that Judith and Herb's marriage is on the rocks, but he gets more than he bargained for when he tries to fake-comfort her. Meanwhile, Herb tries picking up women with Charlie's help.