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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Fr 19:05
· Rerun Mo-Su
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and nephew move into his beach-front house.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2005
- CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S2:E7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
S1:E23
Just Like Buffalo
When Jake repeats to Judith something Charlie says, she refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from her and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.
S1:E24
Can You Feel My Finger
Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).
S2:E1
Back Off Mary Poppins
Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.
S2:E2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Alan is hurt when he finds out that Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician; meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
S2:E3
A Bag Full of Jawea
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.
S2:E4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
S2:E5
Bad News from the Clinic
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.
S2:E6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now-infuriated brother.
S5:E1
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.
S5:E2
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
S5:E3
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.
S5:E4
City of Great Racks
Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?
S5:E5
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.
S5:E6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.
S5:E7
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.
S2:E8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
S2:E9
Yes, Monsignor
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.
S5:E8
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.
S5:E9
Tight's Good
Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.
S2:E10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
S2:E11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
S5:E10
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.
S5:E11
Meander to Your Dander
Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.
S2:E12
A Lung Full of Alan
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.
S2:E13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.
S5:E12
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?
S5:E13
The Soil is Moist
Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.
S2:E14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
S2:E15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.
S5:E14
Winky-Dink Time
Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute and accompanies Jake on a double date.
S5:E15
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.
S2:E16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.
S2:E17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter goes horribly wrong.
S5:E16
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.
S5:E17
Fish in a Drawer
Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.
S2:E18
It Was Mame, Mom
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?
S2:E19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exes.
S5:E18
If My Hole Could Talk
Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than he is, has a 32-year-old son and treats Charlie more like a son than a boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend but keeps losing the book before he can read it.
S5:E19
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend and Charlie discovers that he "dated" his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.
S2:E20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.
S2:E21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.
S6:E1
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him, and he starts to suspect that he is the boy's father.
S6:E2
Pie Hole, Herb
Charlie kicks Alan out of the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.
S2:E22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.
S2:E23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents' house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.
S6:E3
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Alan tries to date two women at once; Charlie tries to learn how to cook; Jake tells Alan that he's studying with a friend, but gets drunk instead.
S6:E4
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Alan is angry when Charlie hooks up with his secretary because he knows that the situation will end badly for him after their inevitable breakup.
S2:E24
Does This Smell Funny to You
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.
S3:E1
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.
S6:E5
A Jock Strap in Hell
Charlie gets more than he bargained for when he tries to make amends to one of Jake's old teachers that he dated, who went off the deep end and became a stripper after he broke up with her.
S6:E6
It's Always Nazi Week
Alan is overjoyed when he learns that Judith and Herb's marriage is on the rocks, but he gets more than he bargained for when he tries to fake-comfort her. Meanwhile, Herb tries picking up women with Charlie's help.
S3:E2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Alan must lobby Jake's principal to keep him from getting expelled, leaving Charlie to manage the chiropractic office for the day.
S3:E3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.