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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Tu, Th-Fr 19:05, We 19:00
· Rerun Mo-Su
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2014
- CastJon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, Angus T. Jones
S3:E6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
S3:E7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
S3:E8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
S7:E22
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party.
S3:E9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.
S8:E1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom; Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.
S3:E10
Something Salted and Twisted
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
S8:E2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes."
S12:E4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
After the social worker signs off on them, a prospective birth mother visits Walden and Alan.
S8:E3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
S12:E5
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Walden looks after a foster child named Louis,but they don't bond the way he hoped they would.
S8:E4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.
S12:E6
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Much to Walden's frustration, Louis successfully manipulates Alan, who cannot resist the opportunity to finally get to become the cool parent.
S3:E11
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
S3:E12
That Special Tug
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.
S3:E13
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
S8:E5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
S3:E14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
S8:E6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.
S3:E15
My Tongue Is Meat
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
S8:E7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker Rose is too much to handle.
S8:E8
Springtime on a Stick
Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate, and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
S8:E9
A Good Time in Central Africa
While Berta is away for the weekend, Charlie finds the perfect replacement housekeeper; when Lyndsey starts dating Alan again, her ex starts stalking him.
S12:E12
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.
S12:E13
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Walden discovers that Ms. McMartin is crazy and needy after they hook up, but he doesn't want to break up with her and mess up the adoption. Meanwhile, Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her.
S3:E16
Ergo, the Booty Call
Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.
S12:E14
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift. Alan's impractical choice strains his relationship with Lindsay.
S3:E17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
S8:E10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
S12:E15
Of Course He's Dead: Part 1
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
S8:E11
Dead from the Waist Down
Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.
S12:E16
Of Course He's Dead: Part 2
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
S3:E18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.
S3:E19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
S8:E12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and visits his psychiatrist.
S8:E13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.
S3:E20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's mom Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub.
S3:E21
And the Plot Moistens
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
S8:E14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.
S8:E15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.
S3:E22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
S3:E23
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
S8:E16
That Darn Priest
Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."
S9:E1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
S3:E24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
S4:E1
Working for Caligula
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
S9:E2
People Who Love Peepholes
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
S9:E3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.
S4:E2
Who's Vod Kanockers
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.
S4:E3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
S9:E4
Nine Magic Fingers
Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.
S9:E5
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.
S4:E4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
S4:E5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.
S9:E6
The Squat and the Hover
Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.
S9:E7
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
S4:E6
Apologies for the Frivolity
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.
S4:E7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter; Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.
S9:E8
Thank You for the Intercourse
Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.
S9:E9
Frodo's Headshots
Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.
S4:E8
Release the Dogs
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.
S4:E9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.
S9:E10
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
S9:E11
What a Lovely Landing Strip
Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.
S4:E10
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.
S4:E11
Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.
S9:E12
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a brother from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
S9:E13
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
When Bridget and Walden's mother try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?