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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Fr 19:05
· Rerun Mo-Su
After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2012
- CastJon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, Angus T. Jones
S10:E1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.
S10:E2
A Big Bag of Dog
While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.
S10:E3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Alan agrees to Lyndsey's idea of having a threesome with Walden, but Walden can't follow through because he's still in love with Zoey.
S2:E9
Yes, Monsignor
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.
S6:E17
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Charlie is so desperate to get Chelsea to return his accidental "I love you" and not lose control in the relationship that he is willing to propose to her just to make her say it.
S10:E4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Walden is conflicted when a friend's hot daughter comes to visit, but the problem solves itself when Jake arrives for a surprise visit.
S2:E10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
S6:E18
My Son's Enormous Head
Charlie has trouble trying to take care of Chelsea when she gets sick.
S10:E5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
After a series of bad double-date setups with Alan and Lyndsey, Walden meets a new woman--Charlie's ex Rose.
S6:E19
The Two Finger Rule
Charlie, Alan, and Herb commiserate with one another when their stupid decisions put them on the outs with their significant others.
S2:E11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
S6:E20
Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
Charlie is disturbed when his mother meets Chelsea and starts spending time with her, but he has a plan for revenge.
S2:E12
A Lung Full of Alan
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.
S6:E21
Above Exalted Cyclops
Chelsea sets up Alan with her new "friend" Rose--the same Rose who stalked Charlie for years. But to Charlie's surprise, the two of them hit it off.
S2:E13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.
S10:E6
Ferrets, Attack!
Just as Walden considers making a big move in his relationship with Rose, Zoey re-enters the picture and asks him to take her back.
S10:E7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Jake goes AWOL from the Army to spend another weekend with Missi, and Walden hires an actress to play the role of his girlfriend.
S10:E8
Something My Gynecologist Said
Alan loses Lyndsey over his refusal to make a long-term commitment, while Walden becomes a "boy toy" for a rich older woman who has no idea that he's a billionaire.
S6:E22
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Charlie winds up in more hot water with Chelsea because he doesn't want her moving in with him.
S2:E14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
S10:E9
I Scream When I Pee
Alan's second ex-wife, Kandi, could spoil Alan's new long-term relationship with Lyndsey. Meanwhile, Walden tries to celebrate Berta's birthday.
S6:E23
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Charlie is angry when Alan and Chelsea become good friends, until he figures out how to use the situation to his advantage.
S2:E15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.
S10:E10
One Nut Johnson
Walden creates an "Everyman" persona and finds a woman who isn't interested in him because of his money.
S6:E24
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Chelsea is jealous when Charlie's ex fiancée, Mia, calls him--perhaps rightfully so. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor, Herb is incapacitated, and Alan runs into his ex-girlfriend and receptionist at the hospital.
S2:E16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.
S7:E1
Chelsea encourages Charlie to help his ex-fiancée Mia launch her music career, but does he still have feelings for her? And what if she's a terrible singer? Meanwhile, Alan wants Charlie to let Melissa move in with him.
S2:E17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter goes horribly wrong.
S7:E2
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
When Charlie's fiancée Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend Melissa move in, the girls take over the house.
S2:E18
It Was Mame, Mom
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?
S10:E11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.
S10:E12
Welcome to Alancrest
While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.
S7:E3
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Alan is forced to take care of Judith's baby when Judith's mom falls off the wagon, and Jake tries to blackmail Charlie when he runs over Chelsea's cat.
S2:E19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exes.
S2:E20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.
S7:E4
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Alan takes a job with his mom so that he can move out and have alone time with Melissa, and Chelsea is upset about the way that Jake is treating her.
S10:E13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Walden and Alan fly to New York City so that Walden can finally reveal his true identity to Kate.
S10:E14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan one more time.
S2:E21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.
S7:E5
For the Sake of the Child
Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public, so Alan tries to convince Charlie to work together to settle their differences and stop fighting with each other.
S2:E22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.
S7:E6
Give Me Your Thumb
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.
S10:E15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Alan is alarmed when he discovers that Jake's new girlfriend is almost twice his age, has three children, and owns a tattoo parlor.
S10:E16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to LA and asks an appointment on Valentine's Day. Alas, she only wants friendship, still prefers 'Sam' and now has just a busy calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked. For once, Alan decides to 'spoil' Lyndsey on Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he can't really afford. But pubic grooming on himself goes so bad she has to drive him to hospital instead. Rose is unsuspecting Kate's new business partner, who lures her to China.
S2:E23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents' house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.
S7:E7
Untainted by Filth
After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, Charlie and Alan go out and get drunk and wake up in bed together with a strange woman.
S2:E24
Does This Smell Funny to You
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.
S7:E8
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Charlie invites Chelsea's sexy friend to stay at his place while she gets over a breakup, secretly hoping that he will get a chance to have kinky three-way sex.
S10:E17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Walden goes to a mixer to find a woman but runs into his ex-wife Bridget instead.
S10:E18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.
S3:E1
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.
S7:E9
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Charlie is crushed when he discovers that he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.
S7:E10
That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.
S3:E2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Alan must lobby Jake's principal to keep him from getting expelled, leaving Charlie to manage the chiropractic office for the day.
S10:E19
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Alan and Walden take Herb out to take his mind off of his troubles, but his partying quickly spirals out of control.
S10:E20
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Tammy comes after Jake after he cheats on her with her 18 year old daughter.
S3:E3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.
S7:E11
Warning, It's Dirty
Against Alan's wishes, Charlie encourages Jake to hook up with a pretty girl he met on the beach since Jake's girlfriend is out of town for Christmas.
S7:E12
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Jake writes love songs to woo back his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.
S3:E4
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.
S10:E21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Alan is crushed when Lyndsey dumps him and immediately starts dating a new man, and Walden is crushed because he is now completely stuck with Alan--again.
S10:E22
My Bodacious Vidalia
Walden treats Alan to an image makeover, and he attracts a married woman with a much older husband who cannot satisfy her in bed.
S3:E5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
S7:E13
Yay, No Polyps
Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, only to find them in his living room when he returns home.
S3:E6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
S7:E14
Crude and Uncalled For
Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.
S10:E23
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Walden dates a sexy young woman, but is actually more interested in her grandmother. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake take a final road trip together before Jake leaves for Japan.
S11:E1
Nangnangnangnang
Walden is forced to deal with two freeloading Harpers when Charlie's daughter that nobody knew he had arrives at the beach house.
S3:E7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
S7:E15
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person. But will he be able to pull it off?
S7:E16
Tinkle Like a Princess
Charlie reacts to his breakup with Chelsea by taking the first woman that he sees and marrying her in Las Vegas.
S3:E8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
S11:E2
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Charlie's daughter Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her 91 1/2 year old boyfriend, and Lyndsey cheats on her new boyfriend with Alan.
S11:E3
This Unblessed Biscuit
Berta is injured on the job, and after getting in an argument with Walden over retirement, she decides to quit.
S3:E9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.
S7:E17
I Found Your Moustache
Charlie and Chelsea get back together for one night, which leaves Charlie mistakenly believing that they are back for good.
S7:E18
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Charlie hooks up with Chelsea's best friend, which could cause problems when Chelsea wants to get back together. Meanwhile, Alan is paid handsomely by a chiropractic patient who wants a different kind of adjustment.
S3:E10
Something Salted and Twisted
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
S11:E4
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Walden makes a big mistake while partying with Jenny and her friends, and Alan has to make a big sacrifice to keep up appearances with Lyndsey.
S11:E5
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Alan's jealousy over being the "other man" causes him to spy on Lyndsey's boyfriend, and Walden tries to get Jenny started with acting lessons.
S3:E11
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
S7:E19
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Alan dates the mom of one of Jake's friends instead of telling her that her son and Jake went out drinking, but Charlie surprisingly does not approve of his actions.
S7:E20
I Called Him Magoo
Alan's plan for a romantic overnight getaway with his girlfriend hits an unexpected snag, while Charlie has an unusual request for his overnight companion.
S3:E12
That Special Tug
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.
S11:E6
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Alan begs Walden to set him up with an old family friend, "Wonder Woman" TV star Lynda Carter.
S11:E7
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Alan and Walden hook up with a pair of theme park princesses until Lyndsey's jealousy of Alan's new flame ruins everything.
S3:E13
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
S7:E21
Gumby with a Pokey
While Alan and Jake go to Sacramento to pick up a grandfather clock, Charlie gets a prescription for medical marijuana to help him sleep and forget about Chelsea.
S7:E22
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party.
S3:E14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.