Two and a Half Men
Mo-Tu, Th-Fr 19:05, We 19:10 · Rerun Mo-Su

After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

  • Country of originUnited States
  • Year when published2011
  • CastJon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, Angus T. Jones
S5:E3
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.
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S5:E4
City of Great Racks
Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?
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S9:E21
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
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S9:E22
Why We Gave Up Women
Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle aged woman to tell Alan to make some changes to his life after his heart attack.
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S5:E5
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.
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S9:E23
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Alan decides to take advantage of the guilt felt by his family and Walden after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.
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S5:E6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.
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S9:E24
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.
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S12:E16
Of Course He's Dead: Part 2
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
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S4:E21
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Everyone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.
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S9:E15
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Walden looks for ways to spice up his lackluster love life with Zoey, including a batch of Berta's "special" brownies.
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S4:E22
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
When Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.
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S9:E16
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Alan and Walden are stuck at home with their feuding girlfriends on Valentine's Day because of a torrential storm.
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S4:E23
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Charlie hires a handyman to fix his deck, then begins to feel threatened when all the women in his life flock to the new guy.
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S9:E17
Not in My Mouth!
When Zoey doesn't return his "I love you," Walden retaliates by immediately picking up on another woman.
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S9:E18
The War Against Gingivitis
Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.
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S4:E24
Prostitutes and Gelato
In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.
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S5:E1
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.
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S9:E19
Palmdale, Ech
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
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S5:E2
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.
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S9:E20
Grandma's Pie
Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.
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S10:E1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.
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S5:E7
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.
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S10:E2
A Big Bag of Dog
While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.
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S5:E8
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.
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S10:E3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Alan agrees to Lyndsey's idea of having a threesome with Walden, but Walden can't follow through because he's still in love with Zoey.
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S5:E9
Tight's Good
Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.
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S5:E10
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.
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S10:E4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Walden is conflicted when a friend's hot daughter comes to visit, but the problem solves itself when Jake arrives for a surprise visit.
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S5:E11
Meander to Your Dander
Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.
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S10:E5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
After a series of bad double-date setups with Alan and Lyndsey, Walden meets a new woman--Charlie's ex Rose.
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S5:E12
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?
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S10:E6
Ferrets, Attack!
Just as Walden considers making a big move in his relationship with Rose, Zoey re-enters the picture and asks him to take her back.
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S10:E7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Jake goes AWOL from the Army to spend another weekend with Missi, and Walden hires an actress to play the role of his girlfriend.
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S5:E13
The Soil is Moist
Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.
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S10:E8
Something My Gynecologist Said
Alan loses Lyndsey over his refusal to make a long-term commitment, while Walden becomes a "boy toy" for a rich older woman who has no idea that he's a billionaire.
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S5:E14
Winky-Dink Time
Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute and accompanies Jake on a double date.
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S5:E15
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.
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S10:E9
I Scream When I Pee
Alan's second ex-wife, Kandi, could spoil Alan's new long-term relationship with Lyndsey. Meanwhile, Walden tries to celebrate Berta's birthday.
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S5:E16
Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.
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S10:E10
One Nut Johnson
Walden creates an "Everyman" persona and finds a woman who isn't interested in him because of his money.
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S10:E11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.
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S5:E17
Fish in a Drawer
Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.
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S10:E12
Welcome to Alancrest
While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.
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S5:E18
If My Hole Could Talk
Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than he is, has a 32-year-old son and treats Charlie more like a son than a boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend but keeps losing the book before he can read it.
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S10:E13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Walden and Alan fly to New York City so that Walden can finally reveal his true identity to Kate.
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S5:E19
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend and Charlie discovers that he "dated" his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.
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S10:E14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan one more time.
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S6:E1
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him, and he starts to suspect that he is the boy's father.
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S6:E2
Pie Hole, Herb
Charlie kicks Alan out of the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.
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S10:E15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Alan is alarmed when he discovers that Jake's new girlfriend is almost twice his age, has three children, and owns a tattoo parlor.
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S10:E16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to LA and asks an appointment on Valentine's Day. Alas, she only wants friendship, still prefers 'Sam' and now has just a busy calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked. For once, Alan decides to 'spoil' Lyndsey on Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he can't really afford. But pubic grooming on himself goes so bad she has to drive him to hospital instead. Rose is unsuspecting Kate's new business partner, who lures her to China.
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S6:E3
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Alan tries to date two women at once; Charlie tries to learn how to cook; Jake tells Alan that he's studying with a friend, but gets drunk instead.
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S10:E17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Walden goes to a mixer to find a woman but runs into his ex-wife Bridget instead.
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S6:E4
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Alan is angry when Charlie hooks up with his secretary because he knows that the situation will end badly for him after their inevitable breakup.
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S10:E18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.
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S6:E5
A Jock Strap in Hell
Charlie gets more than he bargained for when he tries to make amends to one of Jake's old teachers that he dated, who went off the deep end and became a stripper after he broke up with her.
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S6:E6
It's Always Nazi Week
Alan is overjoyed when he learns that Judith and Herb's marriage is on the rocks, but he gets more than he bargained for when he tries to fake-comfort her. Meanwhile, Herb tries picking up women with Charlie's help.
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S10:E19
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Alan and Walden take Herb out to take his mind off of his troubles, but his partying quickly spirals out of control.
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S10:E20
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Tammy comes after Jake after he cheats on her with her 18 year old daughter.
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S6:E7
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Alan and Judith start seeing each other again after Judith's breakup with Herb, Herb continues to turn to Charlie for help picking up women, and Charlie messes with Jake by threatening to get him sent to military school.
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