Two and a Half Men
Mo 19:00, Tu-Fr 19:05 · Rerun Mo-Su

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

  • Country of originUnited States
  • Year when published2013
  • CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S3:E18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.
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S3:E19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
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S3:E20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's mom Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub.
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S3:E21
And the Plot Moistens
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
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S3:E22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
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S11:E16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Alan takes an interest in Larry's sister after "Jeff Strongman" agrees to be his best man, and Walden is concerned about his relationship with Nicole.
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S11:E17
Welcome Home, Jake
Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry's sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden finds it difficult with telling Barry to find his own place.
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S11:E19
Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Just as Walden is considering proposing to Kate, he falls for a random stranger who arrives at his beach house. Meanwhile, Gretchen discovers that Alan's "Jeff Strongman" persona is a lie.
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S11:E20
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Walden's therapist tells him to have plenty of random casual sex to help get over falling in love too quickly, and Alan's new business venture provides him with the perfect opportunity.
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S11:E21
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Walden goes to Colorado with Jenny and Barry after he finds his first car. Meanwhile, Alan loses Gretchen after he considers telling Larry the truth about "Jeff Strongman."
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S11:E22
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
When Alan and Gretchen get engaged and Larry calls off the wedding, Lyndsey goes off the deep end. Meanwhile, Walden creates a smart-aleck robot.
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S3:E23
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
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S3:E24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
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S12:E1
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
When Walden has a health scare on Halloween, he tries to re-prioritize his life with the help of Alan.
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S12:E2
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Alan has second thoughts about getting married when Walden has him sign a prenup.
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S4:E1
Working for Caligula
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
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S4:E2
Who's Vod Kanockers
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.
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S12:E3
Glamping in a Yurt
Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with an adoption social worker. However, Lyndsey returns from rehab and makes their plans more difficult.
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S12:E4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
After the social worker signs off on them, a prospective birth mother visits Walden and Alan.
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S4:E3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
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S4:E4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
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S12:E5
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Walden looks after a foster child named Louis,but they don't bond the way he hoped they would.
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S12:E6
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Much to Walden's frustration, Louis successfully manipulates Alan, who cannot resist the opportunity to finally get to become the cool parent.
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S4:E5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.
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S4:E6
Apologies for the Frivolity
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.
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S12:E7
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Walden and Alan befriend a group of sexy single moms while taking Louis out to play, which makes it even more difficult to keep up their charade.
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S12:E8
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Walden hopes to create the perfect Christmas experience for Louis, who has lost his faith in Christmas. But Santa, Alan's mom Evelyn, and Alan's cheapness threaten to ruin everything.
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S4:E7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter; Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.
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S4:E8
Release the Dogs
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.
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S12:E9
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Walden and Laurel set up a playdate for their kids so they can pick up where they left off the last time they got together. Meanwhile, Herb asks Alan if he can ask Lyndsey out.
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S12:E10
Here I Come, Pants!
When Ms. McMartin discovers that Walden and Alan are pretending to be gay, she threatens to take Louis away. However, Alan has a plan to help her change her mind.
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S4:E9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.
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S4:E10
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.
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S12:E11
For Whom the Booty Calls
When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he discovers that it is a nice getaway from Alan.
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S12:E12
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.
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S4:E11
Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.
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S4:E12
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.
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S12:E13
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Walden discovers that Ms. McMartin is crazy and needy after they hook up, but he doesn't want to break up with her and mess up the adoption. Meanwhile, Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her.
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S12:E14
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift. Alan's impractical choice strains his relationship with Lindsay.
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S4:E13
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.
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S4:E14
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.
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S12:E15
Of Course He's Dead: Part 1
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
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S12:E16
Of Course He's Dead: Part 2
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
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S4:E15
My Damn Stalker
Alan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.
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S4:E16
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Charlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.
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S9:E1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
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S9:E2
People Who Love Peepholes
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
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S4:E17
I Merely Slept with a Commie
After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.
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S4:E18
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Alan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.
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