Two and a Half Men
Mo, We-Fr 19:05, Tu 19:00 · Rerun Mo-Su

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and nephew move into his beach-front house.

  • Country of originUnited States
  • Year when published2006
  • CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S11:E17
Welcome Home, Jake
Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry's sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden finds it difficult with telling Barry to find his own place.
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S3:E23
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
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S8:E9
A Good Time in Central Africa
While Berta is away for the weekend, Charlie finds the perfect replacement housekeeper; when Lyndsey starts dating Alan again, her ex starts stalking him.
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S3:E24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
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S8:E10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
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S11:E16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Alan takes an interest in Larry's sister after "Jeff Strongman" agrees to be his best man, and Walden is concerned about his relationship with Nicole.
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S11:E8
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
A private investigator tells Lyndsey's boyfriend that she is cheating on him with Walden, and Rose tries to help keep Walden out of danger.
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S11:E9
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Walden has a date with an injury-prone model, and Alan sleeps with a woman who then reveals that she used to be a man.
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S3:E15
My Tongue Is Meat
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
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S11:E10
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a woman who is blowing her off, and Alan is propositioned by his new girlfriend's ex.
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S8:E1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom; Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.
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S11:E11
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Walden is hired by a former employee he fired to write code for a new project, and Alan suffers an unfortunate tick bite while hiking with Jenny and her girlfriend.
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S3:E16
Ergo, the Booty Call
Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.
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S8:E2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes."
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S11:E12
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Alan lets Lyndsey's boyfriend Larry set him up on a date, while Walden offers to help Nicole with her software project, so that she will have the time to date him.
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S3:E17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
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S8:E3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
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S3:E18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.
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S8:E4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.
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S3:E19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
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S8:E5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
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S11:E13
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Marty proposes to Evelyn, and she accepts. But after Alan and Walden throw Marty a bachelor party, he abruptly calls off the wedding.
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S11:E14
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
After Alan learns that Lyndsey broke up with Larry and didn't tell him, he makes a big decision. Meanwhile, Walden sets out to prove that he's a man's man.
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S11:E15
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Alan turns to Judith for comfort after Lyndsey accepts Larry's marriage proposal, and Jenny is worried that Brooke is blowing her off.
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S8:E6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.
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S3:E20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's mom Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub.
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S8:E7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker Rose is too much to handle.
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S3:E21
And the Plot Moistens
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
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S8:E8
Springtime on a Stick
Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate, and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
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S3:E22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
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S11:E18
West Side Story
Walden's reunion with his ex-girlfriend Kate does not go as planned, and Alan takes Gretchen over to "his apartment."
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S11:E19
Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Just as Walden is considering proposing to Kate, he falls for a random stranger who arrives at his beach house. Meanwhile, Gretchen discovers that Alan's "Jeff Strongman" persona is a lie.
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S4:E1
Working for Caligula
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
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S8:E11
Dead from the Waist Down
Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.
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S4:E2
Who's Vod Kanockers
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.
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S8:E12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and visits his psychiatrist.
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S11:E20
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Walden's therapist tells him to have plenty of random casual sex to help get over falling in love too quickly, and Alan's new business venture provides him with the perfect opportunity.
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S11:E21
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Walden goes to Colorado with Jenny and Barry after he finds his first car. Meanwhile, Alan loses Gretchen after he considers telling Larry the truth about "Jeff Strongman."
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S8:E13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.
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S4:E3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
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S4:E4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
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S8:E14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.
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S11:E22
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
When Alan and Gretchen get engaged and Larry calls off the wedding, Lyndsey goes off the deep end. Meanwhile, Walden creates a smart-aleck robot.
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S12:E1
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
When Walden has a health scare on Halloween, he tries to re-prioritize his life with the help of Alan.
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S8:E15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.
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S4:E5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.
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S4:E6
Apologies for the Frivolity
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.
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S8:E16
That Darn Priest
Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."
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S12:E2
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Alan has second thoughts about getting married when Walden has him sign a prenup.
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S12:E3
Glamping in a Yurt
Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with an adoption social worker. However, Lyndsey returns from rehab and makes their plans more difficult.
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S4:E7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter; Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.
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S9:E1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
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S4:E8
Release the Dogs
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.
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S9:E2
People Who Love Peepholes
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
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S12:E4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
After the social worker signs off on them, a prospective birth mother visits Walden and Alan.
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S12:E5
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Walden looks after a foster child named Louis,but they don't bond the way he hoped they would.
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S4:E9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.
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S9:E3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.
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S4:E10
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.
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S9:E4
Nine Magic Fingers
Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.
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S12:E6
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Much to Walden's frustration, Louis successfully manipulates Alan, who cannot resist the opportunity to finally get to become the cool parent.
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S12:E7
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Walden and Alan befriend a group of sexy single moms while taking Louis out to play, which makes it even more difficult to keep up their charade.
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S9:E5
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.
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S4:E11
Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.
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S9:E6
The Squat and the Hover
Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.
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S4:E12
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.
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S12:E8
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Walden hopes to create the perfect Christmas experience for Louis, who has lost his faith in Christmas. But Santa, Alan's mom Evelyn, and Alan's cheapness threaten to ruin everything.
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S12:E9
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Walden and Laurel set up a playdate for their kids so they can pick up where they left off the last time they got together. Meanwhile, Herb asks Alan if he can ask Lyndsey out.
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S4:E13
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.
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S9:E7
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.
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S9:E8
Thank You for the Intercourse
Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.
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S4:E14
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.
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S12:E10
Here I Come, Pants!
When Ms. McMartin discovers that Walden and Alan are pretending to be gay, she threatens to take Louis away. However, Alan has a plan to help her change her mind.
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S12:E11
For Whom the Booty Calls
When Walden joins a support group for adoptive fathers, he discovers that it is a nice getaway from Alan.
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S4:E15
My Damn Stalker
Alan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.
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S9:E9
Frodo's Headshots
Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.
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S9:E10
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.
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S4:E16
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Charlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.
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S12:E12
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Walden worries that Louis' adoption will be impacted when Alan breaks up with their social worker.
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S12:E13
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Walden discovers that Ms. McMartin is crazy and needy after they hook up, but he doesn't want to break up with her and mess up the adoption. Meanwhile, Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her.
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S4:E17
I Merely Slept with a Commie
After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.
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S9:E11
What a Lovely Landing Strip
Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.
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S9:E12
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a brother from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.
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S4:E18
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Alan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.
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S12:E14
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
When their divorce becomes official, Walden offers Alan a gift. Alan's impractical choice strains his relationship with Lindsay.
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S12:E15
Of Course He's Dead: Part 1
Alan begins to suspect that Charlie is still alive, which is confirmed when he receives a threatening package and Rose tells the truth.
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S9:E13
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
When Bridget and Walden's mother try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?
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S4:E19
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Alan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.
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S4:E20
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Alan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.
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S9:E14
A Possum on Chemo
While Zoe pressures Walden into shaving and cutting his hair, Alan discovers that Lyndsey is dating a younger man.
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