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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Fr 19:05
· Rerun Mo-Su
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and nephew move into his beach-front house.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2006
- CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S11:E2
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Charlie's daughter Jenny moves in with Evelyn and her 91 1/2 year old boyfriend, and Lyndsey cheats on her new boyfriend with Alan.
S11:E3
This Unblessed Biscuit
Berta is injured on the job, and after getting in an argument with Walden over retirement, she decides to quit.
S3:E9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.
S7:E17
I Found Your Moustache
Charlie and Chelsea get back together for one night, which leaves Charlie mistakenly believing that they are back for good.
S3:E10
Something Salted and Twisted
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
S7:E18
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Charlie hooks up with Chelsea's best friend, which could cause problems when Chelsea wants to get back together. Meanwhile, Alan is paid handsomely by a chiropractic patient who wants a different kind of adjustment.
S11:E4
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Walden makes a big mistake while partying with Jenny and her friends, and Alan has to make a big sacrifice to keep up appearances with Lyndsey.
S11:E5
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Alan's jealousy over being the "other man" causes him to spy on Lyndsey's boyfriend, and Walden tries to get Jenny started with acting lessons.
S3:E11
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
S7:E19
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Alan dates the mom of one of Jake's friends instead of telling her that her son and Jake went out drinking, but Charlie surprisingly does not approve of his actions.
S7:E20
I Called Him Magoo
Alan's plan for a romantic overnight getaway with his girlfriend hits an unexpected snag, while Charlie has an unusual request for his overnight companion.
S3:E12
That Special Tug
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.
S11:E6
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Alan begs Walden to set him up with an old family friend, "Wonder Woman" TV star Lynda Carter.
S11:E7
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Alan and Walden hook up with a pair of theme park princesses until Lyndsey's jealousy of Alan's new flame ruins everything.
S3:E13
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
S7:E21
Gumby with a Pokey
While Alan and Jake go to Sacramento to pick up a grandfather clock, Charlie gets a prescription for medical marijuana to help him sleep and forget about Chelsea.
S7:E22
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party.
S3:E14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
S10:E21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Alan is crushed when Lyndsey dumps him and immediately starts dating a new man, and Walden is crushed because he is now completely stuck with Alan--again.
S10:E22
My Bodacious Vidalia
Walden treats Alan to an image makeover, and he attracts a married woman with a much older husband who cannot satisfy her in bed.
S10:E23
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Walden dates a sexy young woman, but is actually more interested in her grandmother. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake take a final road trip together before Jake leaves for Japan.
S3:E5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
S7:E13
Yay, No Polyps
Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, only to find them in his living room when he returns home.
S11:E1
Nangnangnangnang
Walden is forced to deal with two freeloading Harpers when Charlie's daughter that nobody knew he had arrives at the beach house.
S3:E6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
S7:E14
Crude and Uncalled For
Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.
S3:E7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
S7:E15
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person. But will he be able to pull it off?
S3:E8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
S7:E16
Tinkle Like a Princess
Charlie reacts to his breakup with Chelsea by taking the first woman that he sees and marrying her in Las Vegas.
S11:E8
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
A private investigator tells Lyndsey's boyfriend that she is cheating on him with Walden, and Rose tries to help keep Walden out of danger.
S11:E9
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Walden has a date with an injury-prone model, and Alan sleeps with a woman who then reveals that she used to be a man.
S3:E15
My Tongue Is Meat
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
S8:E1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom; Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.
S8:E2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes."
S3:E16
Ergo, the Booty Call
Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.
S11:E10
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Walden helps Jenny get a second date with a woman who is blowing her off, and Alan is propositioned by his new girlfriend's ex.
S11:E11
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Walden is hired by a former employee he fired to write code for a new project, and Alan suffers an unfortunate tick bite while hiking with Jenny and her girlfriend.
S3:E17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
S8:E3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.
S8:E4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.
S3:E18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.
S11:E12
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Alan lets Lyndsey's boyfriend Larry set him up on a date, while Walden offers to help Nicole with her software project, so that she will have the time to date him.
S11:E13
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Marty proposes to Evelyn, and she accepts. But after Alan and Walden throw Marty a bachelor party, he abruptly calls off the wedding.
S3:E19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
S8:E5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Alan goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie; Charlie sneaks off for cosmetic surgery.
S8:E6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.
S3:E20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's mom Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub.
S11:E14
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
After Alan learns that Lyndsey broke up with Larry and didn't tell him, he makes a big decision. Meanwhile, Walden sets out to prove that he's a man's man.
S11:E15
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Alan turns to Judith for comfort after Lyndsey accepts Larry's marriage proposal, and Jenny is worried that Brooke is blowing her off.
S3:E21
And the Plot Moistens
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
S8:E7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker Rose is too much to handle.
S8:E8
Springtime on a Stick
Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate, and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.
S3:E22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
S11:E16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Alan takes an interest in Larry's sister after "Jeff Strongman" agrees to be his best man, and Walden is concerned about his relationship with Nicole.
S11:E17
Welcome Home, Jake
Lyndsey discovers that Alan is sleeping with Larry's sister, Gretchen. Meanwhile, Walden finds it difficult with telling Barry to find his own place.
S3:E23
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
S8:E9
A Good Time in Central Africa
While Berta is away for the weekend, Charlie finds the perfect replacement housekeeper; when Lyndsey starts dating Alan again, her ex starts stalking him.
S3:E24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
S8:E10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.
S11:E18
West Side Story
Walden's reunion with his ex-girlfriend Kate does not go as planned, and Alan takes Gretchen over to "his apartment."
S11:E19
Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Just as Walden is considering proposing to Kate, he falls for a random stranger who arrives at his beach house. Meanwhile, Gretchen discovers that Alan's "Jeff Strongman" persona is a lie.
S4:E1
Working for Caligula
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
S8:E11
Dead from the Waist Down
Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.
S4:E2
Who's Vod Kanockers
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.
S8:E12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and visits his psychiatrist.
S11:E20
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Walden's therapist tells him to have plenty of random casual sex to help get over falling in love too quickly, and Alan's new business venture provides him with the perfect opportunity.
S11:E21
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Walden goes to Colorado with Jenny and Barry after he finds his first car. Meanwhile, Alan loses Gretchen after he considers telling Larry the truth about "Jeff Strongman."
S8:E13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.
S4:E3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
S8:E14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.
S4:E4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
S11:E22
Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
When Alan and Gretchen get engaged and Larry calls off the wedding, Lyndsey goes off the deep end. Meanwhile, Walden creates a smart-aleck robot.
S12:E1
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
When Walden has a health scare on Halloween, he tries to re-prioritize his life with the help of Alan.
S8:E15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.
S4:E5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.
S8:E16
That Darn Priest
Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."
S4:E6
Apologies for the Frivolity
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.
S12:E2
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Alan has second thoughts about getting married when Walden has him sign a prenup.
S12:E3
Glamping in a Yurt
Alan and Walden must be perceived as a loving couple during a meeting with an adoption social worker. However, Lyndsey returns from rehab and makes their plans more difficult.
S4:E7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter; Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.
S9:E1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.
S4:E8
Release the Dogs
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.
S9:E2
People Who Love Peepholes
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.
S12:E4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
After the social worker signs off on them, a prospective birth mother visits Walden and Alan.
S12:E5
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Walden looks after a foster child named Louis,but they don't bond the way he hoped they would.
S4:E9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.
S9:E3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.
S9:E4
Nine Magic Fingers
Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.
S4:E10
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.