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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Fr 19:05
· Rerun Mo-Su
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and nephew move into his beach-front house.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2008
- CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S6:E9
The Mooch at the Boo
Alan realizes what a babe magnet Charlie's car can be while Charlie is left with the neighbor when his daughter disappears with Jake.
S6:E10
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education and a car, Charlie suspects that she has an angle to play.
S3:E6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
S3:E7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
S6:E11
The Devil's Lube
Charlie contemplates making some changes in his life after an old buddy and partner in crime drops dead on the balcony of his beach house.
S6:E12
Thank God for Scoliosis
Alan considers hooking up with his receptionist--until he meets her mother, and Charlie and Jake fight for the affection of a beautiful woman.
S3:E8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
S3:E9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.
S6:E13
I Think You Offended Don
Judith is pregnant, Alan believes he is the father, and Judith tries to keep him away from Herb. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to figure out why Jake is so irritable.
S6:E14
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
After his family acts mean-spirited during Alan's "surprise" birthday party, Alan decides he's had enough and moves in with his girlfriend and her mom.
S3:E10
Something Salted and Twisted
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
S3:E11
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
S6:E15
I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Charlie's big mouth and lack of attention to details gets him in couples counseling with his girlfriend.
S6:E16
She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Charlie needs Alan and Jake's help getting rid of the drunk, half-naked bimbo passed out in his bed when his girlfriend tells him she's coming home early from a funeral.
S3:E12
That Special Tug
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.
S3:E13
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
S3:E4
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.
S3:E5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
S6:E7
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Alan and Judith start seeing each other again after Judith's breakup with Herb, Herb continues to turn to Charlie for help picking up women, and Charlie messes with Jake by threatening to get him sent to military school.
S6:E8
Pinocchio's Mouth
Charlie's month-long relationship threatens to go down the tubes when she asks him to spend the night at her house instead. Alan grounds Jake for mooning some girls on a school bus.
S6:E17
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Charlie is so desperate to get Chelsea to return his accidental "I love you" and not lose control in the relationship that he is willing to propose to her just to make her say it.
S6:E18
My Son's Enormous Head
Charlie has trouble trying to take care of Chelsea when she gets sick.
S3:E14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
S3:E15
My Tongue Is Meat
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
S6:E19
The Two Finger Rule
Charlie, Alan, and Herb commiserate with one another when their stupid decisions put them on the outs with their significant others.
S6:E20
Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
Charlie is disturbed when his mother meets Chelsea and starts spending time with her, but he has a plan for revenge.
S3:E16
Ergo, the Booty Call
Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.
S3:E17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
S6:E21
Above Exalted Cyclops
Chelsea sets up Alan with her new "friend" Rose--the same Rose who stalked Charlie for years. But to Charlie's surprise, the two of them hit it off.
S6:E22
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Charlie winds up in more hot water with Chelsea because he doesn't want her moving in with him.
S3:E18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.
S3:E19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
S6:E23
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Charlie is angry when Alan and Chelsea become good friends, until he figures out how to use the situation to his advantage.
S6:E24
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Chelsea is jealous when Charlie's ex fiancée, Mia, calls him--perhaps rightfully so. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor, Herb is incapacitated, and Alan runs into his ex-girlfriend and receptionist at the hospital.
S3:E20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's mom Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub.
S3:E21
And the Plot Moistens
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
S7:E1
Chelsea encourages Charlie to help his ex-fiancée Mia launch her music career, but does he still have feelings for her? And what if she's a terrible singer? Meanwhile, Alan wants Charlie to let Melissa move in with him.
S7:E2
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
When Charlie's fiancée Chelsea convinces him to let Alan's girlfriend Melissa move in, the girls take over the house.
S3:E22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
S3:E23
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
S7:E3
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Alan is forced to take care of Judith's baby when Judith's mom falls off the wagon, and Jake tries to blackmail Charlie when he runs over Chelsea's cat.
S7:E4
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Alan takes a job with his mom so that he can move out and have alone time with Melissa, and Chelsea is upset about the way that Jake is treating her.
S3:E24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.
S4:E1
Working for Caligula
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.
S7:E5
For the Sake of the Child
Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public, so Alan tries to convince Charlie to work together to settle their differences and stop fighting with each other.
S7:E6
Give Me Your Thumb
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.
S4:E2
Who's Vod Kanockers
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.
S4:E3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.
S7:E7
Untainted by Filth
After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, Charlie and Alan go out and get drunk and wake up in bed together with a strange woman.
S7:E8
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Charlie invites Chelsea's sexy friend to stay at his place while she gets over a breakup, secretly hoping that he will get a chance to have kinky three-way sex.
S4:E4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.
S4:E5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.
S7:E9
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Charlie is crushed when he discovers that he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.
S7:E10
That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.
S4:E6
Apologies for the Frivolity
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.
S4:E7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter; Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.
S7:E11
Warning, It's Dirty
Against Alan's wishes, Charlie encourages Jake to hook up with a pretty girl he met on the beach since Jake's girlfriend is out of town for Christmas.
S7:E12
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Jake writes love songs to woo back his ex-girlfriend; Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.
S4:E8
Release the Dogs
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.
S4:E9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.