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Two and a Half Men
Mo-Fr 19:05
· Rerun Mo-Su
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
- Country of originUnited States
- Year when published2005
- CastJon Cryer, Charlie Sheen, Angus T. Jones
S9:E24
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.
S10:E1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.
S2:E3
A Bag Full of Jawea
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.
S2:E4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
S10:E2
A Big Bag of Dog
While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.
S10:E3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Alan agrees to Lyndsey's idea of having a threesome with Walden, but Walden can't follow through because he's still in love with Zoey.
S2:E5
Bad News from the Clinic
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.
S2:E6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now-infuriated brother.
S1:E21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie tries to seduce Alan's divorce lawyer Laura, and her assistant. He sleeps with Laura and they decide not to tell Alan anything since it's unethical, considering that Charlie is a participant in the case.
S1:E22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Charlie notices that Alan sleepwalks and tries to find out what's causing it and how to deal with it. He asks for help from their mother Evelyn and Jake's psychologist, Dr. Linda Freeman.
S1:E23
Just Like Buffalo
When Jake repeats to Judith something Charlie says, she refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from her and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.
S1:E24
Can You Feel My Finger
Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).
S2:E1
Back Off Mary Poppins
Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.
S9:E18
The War Against Gingivitis
Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.
S9:E19
Palmdale, Ech
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoey is still out of town.
S9:E20
Grandma's Pie
Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.
S9:E21
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.
S9:E22
Why We Gave Up Women
Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle aged woman to tell Alan to make some changes to his life after his heart attack.
S2:E2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Alan is hurt when he finds out that Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician; meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
S9:E23
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Alan decides to take advantage of the guilt felt by his family and Walden after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.
S10:E4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Walden is conflicted when a friend's hot daughter comes to visit, but the problem solves itself when Jake arrives for a surprise visit.
S10:E5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
After a series of bad double-date setups with Alan and Lyndsey, Walden meets a new woman--Charlie's ex Rose.
S2:E7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
S2:E8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
S10:E6
Ferrets, Attack!
Just as Walden considers making a big move in his relationship with Rose, Zoey re-enters the picture and asks him to take her back.
S10:E7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Jake goes AWOL from the Army to spend another weekend with Missi, and Walden hires an actress to play the role of his girlfriend.
S2:E9
Yes, Monsignor
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.
S2:E10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
S10:E8
Something My Gynecologist Said
Alan loses Lyndsey over his refusal to make a long-term commitment, while Walden becomes a "boy toy" for a rich older woman who has no idea that he's a billionaire.
S10:E9
I Scream When I Pee
Alan's second ex-wife, Kandi, could spoil Alan's new long-term relationship with Lyndsey. Meanwhile, Walden tries to celebrate Berta's birthday.
S2:E11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.
S2:E12
A Lung Full of Alan
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.
S10:E10
One Nut Johnson
Walden creates an "Everyman" persona and finds a woman who isn't interested in him because of his money.
S10:E11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.
S2:E13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.
S2:E14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.
S10:E12
Welcome to Alancrest
While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.
S10:E13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Walden and Alan fly to New York City so that Walden can finally reveal his true identity to Kate.
S2:E15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.
S2:E16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.
S10:E14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan one more time.
S10:E15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Alan is alarmed when he discovers that Jake's new girlfriend is almost twice his age, has three children, and owns a tattoo parlor.
S2:E17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter goes horribly wrong.
S2:E18
It Was Mame, Mom
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?
S10:E16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to LA and asks an appointment on Valentine's Day. Alas, she only wants friendship, still prefers 'Sam' and now has just a busy calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked. For once, Alan decides to 'spoil' Lyndsey on Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he can't really afford. But pubic grooming on himself goes so bad she has to drive him to hospital instead. Rose is unsuspecting Kate's new business partner, who lures her to China.
S10:E17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Walden goes to a mixer to find a woman but runs into his ex-wife Bridget instead.
S2:E19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exes.
S2:E20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.
S10:E18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.
S10:E19
Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Alan and Walden take Herb out to take his mind off of his troubles, but his partying quickly spirals out of control.
S2:E21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.
S2:E22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.
S10:E20
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Tammy comes after Jake after he cheats on her with her 18 year old daughter.
S10:E21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Alan is crushed when Lyndsey dumps him and immediately starts dating a new man, and Walden is crushed because he is now completely stuck with Alan--again.
S2:E23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents' house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.
S2:E24
Does This Smell Funny to You
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.
S10:E22
My Bodacious Vidalia
Walden treats Alan to an image makeover, and he attracts a married woman with a much older husband who cannot satisfy her in bed.
S10:E23
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Walden dates a sexy young woman, but is actually more interested in her grandmother. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake take a final road trip together before Jake leaves for Japan.
S3:E1
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.
S3:E2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Alan must lobby Jake's principal to keep him from getting expelled, leaving Charlie to manage the chiropractic office for the day.